Friday November 13 2020
Yeah, so it’s Friday the 13th. Don’t sweat it though. A day designated to misfortune and chaos has long since lost its powers to the hot trots of 2020.
For example, let’s recap just this past week, ok?
- Alex Trebek passed away and I can’t talk about it.
- I desperately wanted to be on Jeopardy and make Alex Trebek proud of me.
- I probably have unresolved father issues.
- The global pandemic has not miraculously gone away in the United States since the November 3 Presidential Election, disappointing many conspiracy theorists.
- Actually, COVID-19 is seeing another worldwide spike.
- Chicago hospitals are predicting a shortage of beds and respirators by Thanksgiving, if the coronavirus spread continues at the current rate.
- President Trump has not accepted the results of the November 3 Election and has not yet conceded, delighting the conspiracy theorists.
- My doctor told me that it’s possible to get both influenza and the coronavirus at the same time. He advised me to try not to.
- Ohio bars, restaurants, and gyms are threatened with another temporary closure if Ohioans can’t get their shit together and stop getting sick.
- Pet Valu is closing all stores nationwide. This was our only self-service dog wash station in town and my dogs kinda reek.
- The bridge connecting commuters between Cincinnati and northern Kentucky, the mighty Brent Spence Bridge, is closed due to a semi-truck accident causing a massive fire reaching 1500 degrees Fahrenheit. Some serious structural damage to this important passage, but nobody died, so blessings there.
- The exhaust on my car came apart while I was waiting in Starbucks drive-through taking me from Basic Bitch to They See Me Rollin’.
Also thumbing its nose at this Friday the 13th is World Kindness Day. A day where those who treat people with respect will continue to do so and those who need an attitude adjustment will just simple ignore. But nice try, you kind people out there.
I’m not adding this to this week’s shit list, because it’s just too endearing.
Someone created a Twitter account for Cincinnati’s new Christmas tree that was put on display in Fountain Square, because of course they did. You can follow @treefountain at https://twitter.com/TreeFountain
His (her?) first tweet:
Donnatopia 