47. Another hazy day

Friday June 26 2020

I was able to sleep better last night, but still have a low grade headache, the kind that you stop noticing after awhile and then wonder why you feel so grouchy.

Goat Rock Beach, California. I captured this image during a trip in 2013.

Wednesday night I just couldn’t shut down my thoughts, which had me moving through yesterday in a kind of haze. I shouldn’t have driven to Kettering really, but I’ve placed myself in that demographic of workers that don’t get paid if they don’t show up. No more paid sick days for the likes of temporary employee me.

My sister has shared the news about Mike all over social media and getting condolences, while I sit in radio silence with nothing but Wednesday’s emotive journal entry for consolation. Except, my mom did call to say she’s sorry to hear my father died, which felt a bit weird. Seriously, there’s nothing normal about any of this.

I really need to process what his death means to me without getting myself in a swirl of negative thoughts, as I do.

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